I’m insecure about my art. I worry that it isn’t relevant or meaningful enough. I make art that tries to be beautiful in a world that is often ugly. Shouldn’t I be using my skills to disrupt the patriarchy, bring down capitalism, reverse climate change and end the wars? OK, I can’t really do any of that, but maybe I should be engaging with those things at least. And beauty - what’s the point of it? Is it even important these days?
I was talking about it with a friend the other day, while our children threw stones into the river. I told her I was worried that my art had no meaning. She replied that beauty was meaningful, because it was spiritual. And that a spiritual connection to nature might be just what we need right now.
It made me wonder what beauty is to me. For about two years I’ve felt a bit flat. Everything felt tired and overfamiliar, and beauty was really hard to find. But recently I’ve been noticing it again. Feeding honey water to a tired bumblebee; the way my dog runs in huge joyful circles around me on the beach; my son plonking out Mary Had a Little Lamb on the piano. Yesterday I practiced a mindfulness exercise where I put a raisin to my ear and listen to it, and the tick, tick of its insides as I squished it made me smile ear to ear.
I think beauty comes from connection - from our openness to the strangeness of all the life forms we share the world with. And maybe the point of beauty in art is to remind us that those experiences are within our reach - that life is weird, surprising, beautiful, and worth tuning in to. Are those experiences spiritual? I think so.
I feel a bit better about my art today. Perhaps it’s OK to have beauty as a subject matter. And relaxing into that has opened windows inside my mind. I can feel a cool draught coming through, carrying fresh ideas…
Meanwhile, this week I am continuing my current obsession with colour. That’s another thing that came back to me this spring! And it was only when it came back that I realised I’d really missed it. Here’s a couple of pictures of my new, very bright, nasturtium reduction prints:
The first has just been finished, with the last layer applied this afternoon! The second still has one more colour to go. They are small limited editions (there will be between 8 - 10 of each) and they should both be ready to go by next week. Keep an eye on my Etsy shop if you’d like one!
https://hannahdoyleart.etsy.com
My cultural highlights this week
I’ve just finished reading ‘The Lonely City’ by Olivia Laing. It’s a brave, interesting look at loneliness through the lives of a handful of artists living and working in New York, with lots to say about trauma, prejudice and technology, and how they can influence our ability to connect. I loved the chapters on Edward Hopper and Andy Warhol in particular.